Jipped.

We've come to the conclusion that we got jipped. This "grown up" stuff is not as fun as it looked when we were 16. Everything we thought we were doing right turns out may not be what it seemed.

We planned, and waited, and planned, and were patient, and planned until everything was just right to have a baby. We thought some of our friends were crazy for having kids without being "ready" or without a clearly defined plan. They're not looking so crazy now, in fact, we're thinking they may have been the smart ones.

Aaron and I had it all planned:

1. Get married

2. Buy a house

3. Furnish the house

4. Have a little fun

5. Start a family

6. Live on Aaron's income

7. I would be home to raise the kids

8. We live happily ever after

Sounds simple enough.

Anyone that knows me is fully aware that I've got to have a plan or some sort of structure to follow or I'm a basket case. I worry and stress out in a moments notice, that's why I put a 2 kid limit on myself - one for each hand - that is all I can handle. It seems that God is up to a little something that involves throwing me into the "refiners' fire" in this department. I think Aaron and I have got a very big, very difficult lesson to learn coming up pretty soon.

With the economy coming to a screeching halt this year, the dependable job Aaron's had for the last 10 years suddenly isn't. The nice tidy plan listed above has just been thrown out the window (with the exception of #1). Does Aaron get another job, or start his own business? Can we still afford our house? With the terrible housing market would we even be able to sell our house if we had to? If I have to keep working to make ends meet, will our newborn baby go to day care? (this is my worst nightmare - if I thought my baby would end up in day care, I would NEVER have gotten pregnant). Everything is so new and up in the air, we have no idea where things are going to fall and when.

We're both scared and unsure of what step comes next. We have no answers. That's where God's gonna have to step in and point us in the right direction. We're not afraid of the work, we're just unsure of the direction. There will be lots of praying going on in our home, there has to be in order to figure this one out. Last night we had one of those weird moments where Aaron said out loud what I had been thinking for the last 3 months - "We couldn't have picked a worse year to have a baby." Don't get us wrong, we ABSOLUTELY want a baby and are so excited, WE PLANNED FOR THIS BABY, but financially, this is the worst year we've ever had. When you dream of becoming a parent you have these high hopes of the wonderful life you want to provide for your children, and now we're wondering how we will cover the minimum basics.

My bottom line conclusion: It doesn't matter how well you've planned, when it comes to having babies there will always be something that pulls the rug out from underneath you. After you're done crying your eyeballs out, ask God for help, and with some work you'll figure it out. You have to. After all, you're Mom and Dad and your precious little one is depending on you.

So to hell with planning! It doesn't work! As long as your marriage is solid we say go ahead and make some babies - you'll figure it out. As the Mormon mantra goes: Multiply and replenish the Earth!!