The Mommy Club

I've heard countless horrendous stories from friends detailing the plight of motherhood. It's not something anyone can understand unless they've been there themselves. It's like a secret club, The Mommy Club, as I like to call it.

Giving birth is not enough for admission. You need to survive an entire day of pure grief before you get admittance. Well, I'm proud to announce - I have arrived.

So at 5am today Everett starts fussing so I rush him out of the room so Aaron doesn't wake up. We make it to the couch, get comfy, and he pukes all down the front of my shirt. I'm so tired I don't even care. I wipe it up with a towel and we fall asleep.

Aaron left for work, and at 8am I notice that Moe is throwing up outside - great. The vet said this might happen so discontinue one of his meds. No problem.

At 9am I phone Everett's doctor regarding a very important matter. I leave a message and decide not to take a shower so I don't miss her call. Everett has decided that today he's only taking 15 minute cat naps, so nothing is getting done around the house. I finally get him to nap and decide Moe needs some attention. I call him in the backyard with no response. Guess he doesn't want to play.

A few minutes later I try to call him again and notice a huge puddle of diarrhea on the patio. I go to find Moe and he's foaming at the mouth and vomiting everywhere. I completely freaked out. Off to the vet again, loading a hungry crying baby and a foamy dog in the car. Drop Moe off at the vet and realized I left my phone in the car and missed the call from the doctor.

I finally got the doctor to answer the phone after hitting redial 5 times. All I got was a "we screwed up - sucks to be you - I'll see if I can sorta fix it and call you back". Great. Still can't take a shower. I hose off dog poo and puke off the patio and got at least a couple hours of normalcy.

At 4pm I still hadn't heard back from the doctor so I left a message. It's Friday afternoon, guess she has better things to do. Called to check on Moe and he was ready to be picked up, although he was still very sick. I fed Everett before hurrying off to the vet again, but not before Everett exploded his diaper spilling a gallon of poo through his pants and onto my jeans. There was no time to change. Off to the vet with no shower, clothes from yesterday, baby puke on my shirt, poo on my jeans, dog spit and hair smeared on my shirt. I am one hot babe.

Got Moe home and he is one sick puppy. He puked twice (at least it was on the tile), I'm running out of towels between him and Everett. Aaron is going to be working late again - maybe I'll get to take a shower tomorrow. In the meantime, Everett has been crying for a solid 40 minutes, I'll be up all night watching Moe and I could use a break. No such luck. You're in The Mommy Club now.